If I’m consistently “irrational” for several years why would you assume that I’d suddenly change from this behavior? That tonight of all nights I would suddenly go

“oh my! I see the world exactly as you do and will switch my views 180 degrees and opt for your ideals!”

Really? You put me under the spotlight because you thought I’d feel hurt otherwise?

Bullshit. You were using your weapon of choice. Guilt.

Better yet – repeat your request with a slight alteration in verbiage immediately following my polite rejection and expect a different response?

Yeah, you will get a different response. A less polite one.

And no, it didn’t pass by me that you kept your back to me the entire time.

And no, it didn’t pass by me that this is something we have discussed time and again.

But of course, you know better than me. Than M. Than my father. Than anyone.

Just like you know that I cannot emotionally handle grad school. That all the other students will stand up and shout that I am a fragile fraud.

Because of course you again know better than me, than my father, than my advisor, than M and your J. Never mind that both are professors at said school for said program and were the first to encourage me to apply to said program. And that I understand both consider you to be the main problem on hand.

I wish I had your ability to know all. I truly do. It has obviously done a ton of good for you.

Penny for the memories that comment evokes.

See, now you may know all, but what use is it if you only forget?